Almost two years ago I started this blog, I got off to an amazing start, and then it was pushed to the side. It was pushed so far that I had to dig pretty deep to find it again. Even then, I didn't finish what I had started. It was something for me and surprise, when a sacrifice needed to be made, it was my needs that were ignored. I know better than that. So, starting today, 1-21-13, I'm going to give this a go again. Get the words out of my head. They get trapped in there sometimes. I need to get them out. It doesn't matter to me if anyone reads it or anyone knows what I'm talking about. Just putting them up gets them out of my mind. Shoot, I don't even care about spelling or grammar, as much as I normally would. It's just thoughts and those can be quite jumbled at times. I've given up on perfection.
We will see how this newest attempt goes. It feels as though I have lost myself somewhere. I'm searching for myself again. I never thought I'd be "lost" in my early forties, I suppose it's natural for everyone to come to a point where their life must be redefined. I'm there, and with the boys getting older at least twice as fast as I am, I'll be doing that again before I know it. I just need a head start on some other things. I just can't wait any longer. I'm not going to wait any longer. Too much has gone on in the past few months, I don't want to waste another minute of living. I have to adjust to my "new normal." I'm really tired of hearing that, but it is true. Normal is dynamic. Sometimes I forget that. I'm going to be dynamic for a change. It must be time, because I am looking forward to a lot of things. 101 things specifically. It was the motivation I needed to put my thoughts down, look at them, and then allow myself to to do them. I start tomorrow. I suppose, in fairness, somethings I have been thinking about, but tomorrow is when the action begins. I'm hoping to fight off the bugs that are going around in our house, I NEED to start tomorrow. Germs, stay away from me now! If it wasn't so late- I'd start tonight! Yep, excited.
In good news, the beginning of the New Year, was like my re-birth. It was nice to close one chapter in my life and feel like I had a fresh, clean start. It was liberating to start over. I missed Dick Clark, but I was very thankful when midnight struck. I even watched it on the Eastern and Central time zones. I wanted to make sure 2012 was over and 2013 really started. My hope was returned and I seriously felt born again. This year, just has to be better. I'm not settling for better, I want it to be my best one yet. Best part of this, I honestly believe it is going to be. There is NOTHING better than that!
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