Saturday, February 9, 2013

My color, invisible.

I would SWEAR on all that is holy that I am invisible.  Sure, people can see me, they can ask me to do things, but for some reason, it is as if I do not exist.  I am TRYING so very hard to change that.  I am getting worn out trying to explain to people that if they could please take me and my feelings into consideration, that would be great.  Being a caregiver has taken part of me away.  It is like I have become a robot to care for my husband.  I totally get that I am here to care for him, I am compensated to care for him, I want to care for him, but I NEED him to realize I am still a human.  I do not exist solely to make his every whim possible.  There is more to me.  He's not getting it.  I am NOT A FAN of brain injuries.  I'm not a fan of wondering is this a brain injury thing, is he being a jerk, am I being a jerk????  I'm definitely not a fan of feeling like the world is moving around me and I'm just there waiting for someone to tell me what to do.  I don't feel bad for myself, I know so many would appreciate my position over theirs, I know it could be much worse... I still just want this to get better.  Like, now.