Well, I said I was excited about my 101 and I meant it! I've needed to make this change for a long time and since today was the day, I did it. I ALMOST did not. The hubby is sick (kinda, he's DYING if you ask him) and I felt bad for leaving him while I went to the Commissary. I decided I would just run and get what we needed and come home. I went, got most of what we needed (except cat food and that was the main reason I went initially) and headed home. It hit me, seriously, he does not need me if he's asleep, and there wasn't anything cold in the trunk ( except maybe those Klondike bars, but who eats those?) so I might as well just go. I got to the point of no return- exit towards home or straight to the mall... and I went straight! I got a new purse, matching billfold, and shoes. Two new shoes, two pairs of shoes even. My feet will be so happy. I am happy. Things I NEED should not make me so happy, they are just things. They did. I was happy. I headed home and remembered the ice cream in the trunk, and decided if it was ruined, it was worth the $3 I spent on it to take care of myself. It was fine by the time I got home, so no worries. My kitty cat who ran out the dog door over 3 weeks ago came home. She looks awful, but the Old Guy gave her a Dawn bath and he was sorta moving around. His condition had improved from near death to still pretty sick, but attempting to move. Shoot, he even did the dishes. Wow. It didn't even end there. I was looking up my Pinterest recipe to try, and the phone rang. Stupid robo-calls from the school. I hate those. Then, it rang again. Half the time, the principal can't figure out the robo-calls and we get the message and then a second, partial message. Not today. It was one of the few people whose name I ADORE seeing on my caller ID, with news that would have put a smile on my face on the worst day- and today, it was icing on the cake! I know it isn't about the things, just feels good to take care of myself. Not say it, just do it. Not feel bad about it. Pretend that I matter. Even my bestie realizes she needs to care for herself more as well. Sometimes you just need help. My safety net is gone, it left when my brother passed away. My husband is unable to provide the safety, security, and other things I need. Not because he doesn't try, doesn't want to- he just can't. I'm not bothered by that, I just need to care for me- because if I don't, no one will. Darn it, I'm going to. I started today. I still have 1,000 days where I feel obligated to do to my list. A list totally about me, not about (too much) what I do for other people. I do so much for others, I don't need to do more in that area. I've spent a long time paring that down. I turned in my Superwoman cape. I already know I can't do everything and if I don't take care of me- I will be doing nothing.
But hey, I am off to a start. I even wrote today here, shared my happiness with myself. I don't care if no one knows or ever sees this.. I DID! I had intentions of writing something else, but it ended up much happier. That is always better. I prefer happiness!
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