One of those days.

My day never turns out well, when the first thing I hear is Levi crowing.  I set my alarm to get up before he did, and it went off right after the crowing stopped.  Of course, Levi knows what the alarm means and when I got up to turn it off, he was standing in the doorway of my room, bouncing up and down already going at 140 mph.  Man.  As much as I am dreading the upcoming medication change, something has to change with him.  YIKES.  His ADHD has been well controlled for a long time, but when its time to change, you know it.  The doc could have just increased it, but since his OCD is beginning to interfere with his life again, he decided to increase those meds and decrease his adhd meds.  That's why I'm glad that I use the mail order pharmacy, I haven't sent it off yet.  They could have faxed it in.  I need a few extra days to prepare for this.  I love this doctor, he has been amazing, best of all, he has been right on with both little boys- so I don't doubt he knows what he is doing.  I just know there is a first time for everything, and I'd hate for this to be the first time he was wrong.  Perhaps if you knew of the last medication change, you would completely understand.  It did great things for his OCD, and in fairness to the doctor, he did prepare me for every possible side effect... including loss of inhibition... Lord have mercy did I end up with a crazy kid who almost killed himself.  He wasn't joking.  Oh well, perhaps, it will do miracles for Levi and I will laugh at myself for doubting the doctor.  We shall see soon.

After I finally could see, had downed a soda, and  made Levi sit because I don't really condone jumping on furniture, Brandon was awake.  I keep hoping he'll sleep long enough for me to get Levi to speech and give me 30 minutes of peace.  Once again, not happening.

HOLD ON, gotta run and look at the slide show, RIGHT now.... we've only had the speaking engagement booked for a month now, of course the night before is the time to decide he wants me to do something different....

And, a day later, I am back.  Lord have mercy, what a TRAGEDY the slide show turned into.  The show is fabulous, it's just when Brandon can't find his "stick" and thinks the shows are lost forever, all HELL breaks loose.  Let's just say, all hell BROKE LOOSE!  SIGH.  Can't stand that.  Just to make it more fun for me, I couldn't sign into AOL mail at the time, and I knew there were copies there.  That was easier than going upstairs.  I just don't like the extreme over reacting and getting everyone upset over something that wasn't really an issue to the rational.  I know I can't expect rational from Brandon... but that is why I continually work with him to bounce things off of me before going into meltdown mode.  I know he wants to just be a man and take care of everything on his own... but Lord have mercy, meltdown mode solves nothing and ends up with me upset.  Over it now, the program was improved and we gave a great briefing this morning.  It was about 90 degrees, 99.99% humidity, and no a/c.  I do not like being sweaty, and it did not match my outfit!  Next time, I'm wearing cotton!  It was a success.  We had one soldier calling us asking for help before we left the base.  That is how you know you made a difference in the life of a soldier.  He will be visiting on Saturday, and on Monday Brandon will go with him to speak to his Chain of Command and formally ask for help.  Funny thing, they already think this guy has a problem, it is hard to hide PTSD, and luckily for this young man, they want to help him.  SUCCESS!

Funny thing, I had  a bunch of stuff to write about yesterday, and can't really remember now what it was.  Sure, Levi was acting up and Brandon seems to have declined the past few weeks... but it was just one of those days.  Thankfully, today was not.  Today, injured and broken, he still helped soldiers, and he loves that.  Heck, I do too! 

I'm not sure if the cane was a good idea or not.  He seems to be holding onto it for dear life.  I know his knee is buckling and the falling has been going on for years, but it seems like since the cane it has gotten worse.  We did have a heart to heart the other day after the driving mess, and I guess he knows it is getting worse and once again trying to control it and ignore it isn't working.  We did have a call from the dr. about if he had his MRI... that sent him into freak out mode, knowing he was dying.. when all they wanted to know was when did he have it done, because they didn't have the results yet!  WHEW.  I wish they had the results, this time it's like he is waiting for a firing squad.  It makes me nervous because the last time someone I love knew something was wrong... something was really wrong.  I've decided not to get into the mind set until we hear something.  Like I keep telling him and everyone else... until it is something, it really is nothing.  To keep my sanity, I really have to hold on tight to that.  Some days I feel like I am kidding myself and just living in a fantasy denial... and then, well, I would think up a better fantasy than this!  I just get through one day at a time.  Learning to do that back in Knox was a lifesaver.  Sometimes, that is too long of a goal and minute to minute is the best you can do.  Thankfully, still in the one day at a time phase.  We still have too much to be thankful for, and this really is normal for us.  Can't be upset over that.  Tomorrow we have lunch with my aunt, uncle, and cousin from Newnan, and next week my best friend.  I hate using the title best friend because I have some REALLY, TRULY, AMAZING friends... but this one is the best.  I swear, we were separated at birth, because I feel like she is part of me.  I am excited!